"do you take cash?"

+We do not accept cash.
+I can NOT help you!
+I do NOT work here!
+Checks are unacceptable (so are cards)

Sure! I'll refund you fully, IN cash, regardless of how you paid! (No, you don't need your receipt!) The return deadline is more a suggestion... YOU KNOW WHAT!? We don't even need the book[s] here!!

Oh?! Those signs?! I didn't even realized I put those there!!

Oh yes!! One more thing! WE NEVER CLOSE!!! (NOR ARE WE EVER OPEN!)

get a clue. you're in college!

SSN strikes again...

Dude... you have financial aid.. why in the heck would I want to steal your identity?!?! and even if you didn't give me your social, i still have access to it!! so get a grip!

Truth: Talk To Your Kids...!

I hate rush!

'nuff said.

whoops!

you know you are dealing with rush head when you try to scan the books with a stapler... :)

could you please...

today i handed a woman her receipt and asked her to stand behind it....

things we say over and over and over and over and......

"yes I really need you SS#"
"No you can't give my your student id#"
"yes that really is the right book"
"yes i'm serious the book costs $85.05 (stmartins guide..lol) and that really isn't a bad price!"
"yes i've heard it a million times that this is a racket, that you should go into the publishing/bookstore business.."
"PLEASE WAIT IN LINE BEHIND THE TAPE ON THE FLOOR!!!!"
"can i use my boucher??" ya mean your voucher?! sure...
"*blank stare*" oh you must have SFA


oh i could go on....

computer books do not equal micro books... der

Apparently people aren't just stupid in the bookstore... they are stupid in class too.. this kid in my micro class says to the teacher, "um.. i think the bookstore gave me the wrong book..." he pulls out a stinkin computer book!!! the teacher is like, "well, that's actually a computer book.. are you taking a computer class?" he's like, "oh yeah... never mind."

Really?!?! Seriously?! I almost started laughing at him!!

The Library is where you borrow books....

The poor librarians here.. I just walked into the library and posted on their white board is a notice to students, "You are in the Bentley Library. The Bookstore is located next door in the Student Center." I talked to the librarians and they get TONS of questions about buying books here. They even get lots of questions with the sign up clearly stating that this isn't the bookstore. So, Dan.. don't feel bad.. it's not that they don't notice your signs.. they just don't notice ANY signs!!

ROFL!!

Ok, so, if we tell you that you need to go to class before you can buy your books.. that means.. you need to wait until classes start, go to the class in the assigned room at the assigned time, and get a stinkin syllabus. Not brain surgery people!!

This guy asked us if he could just go to class now and get the book info... I nearly died.. I thought I had it under control but I decided to play it safe and head to the back room... quickly!! Dan almost kept his cool but then he saw me loosing it and ran after me. We died laughing. I hope the guy didn't hear us...

END OF THE LINE!!

I have three signs saying "Line Starts Here" (but they're not that noticable... It's more so to point at and say "can you stand by that sign please? thanks.")

So, today, me being my verbally articulate self said "If you're selling your books, can you please start a line over here!" It's not some much a question as it is a forceful favor. "...and by SELLING I'm mean PURCHASING..." =\
(Woooops!) My-B...

So, everyone laughs at my vocab mix-up and so do I, after all I was very adament with that statement only to realize I made a fool of myself...haha! I'd much rather laugh at myself anyway.

One guy didn't quite understand that sentance though, so I told him once more... "Sir, You have to stand in line to purchase your textbooks." (very calmy I may add...)
He responds with a mumble about how he's not buy books... but something else...

?!!?!?!!?!?!?!!!

So, I reply "Sir, It doesn't matter WHAT you're purchasing... You still have to wait in line."
"Oh."

?!

I didn't know whether I wanted to LAUGH or SCREAM/CRY... =(

are you kidding me?